Slapping soapy sinners sailing slimy unkempt boats.
Choking on a hair ball from fellatio with goats.
Clingy cocky careless men with muscles to their chin.
Arrogant meat-head bouncers that will never let you in.
A transvestite hooker walked her poodle down the street.
A wig on her head and high heels on her feet.
They caught her selling blow jobs and she ended up in jail,
then she gave the guard a handy in order to make bail.
Sea anemones, scorpion shit, and well made cardboard signs.
My one call from prison went to little Amanda Bynes.
I eat my hair when I’m really bored.
Life aint no friend of mine.
I want to go on a murder spree, but I just can’t find the time.
Washable markers, head on a stick,
I bare knuckle boxed with a short angry dick.
Kissing the babies and working the crowd.
I rode up to heaven on a little dark cloud.
Gazing at stars from the back of cars
he dreamed of a perfect place.
Where hookers and shims didn’t scare him
and he could murder them all with grace.
Tickle Me Elmo and Paul Revere
were sinking a boat while drinking a beer.
They put on their floaties,
said a quick prayer,
then tossed over the chick they had tied to a chair.
Cantaloupe and oxygen is plentiful and boring.
Stayed up all night.
I couldn’t sleep because that slob was snoring.
Keep me up again, I’ll remove your arm without a bit of warning.
You’ll be in shock and wont realize your limb is gone till morning.
slowly and horribly a homeless man dies.
He once killed a hooker while muffling her cries.
He started with heroin then tried PCP,
now he wears womens clothing and claims hes a she.
She said love
is like living someone else’s dream.
I didn’t ask for this
and you won’t be needing me.
I’m no good (I love the way you look at me)
and a hush falls flat.
This is all I need.
But I know better than that.
Still I spend forever waiting for you,
but I know your tenderness won’t last
and I don’t know what to do.
Love…
It’s true
that it isn’t quite what it seems.
And I try to move past all of these wild, these childish dreams.
Please don’t dissect what you don’t want to discover.
Don’t abuse what you want to recover.
Cause what you don’t realize is
sometimes it won’t make sense.
But you have to let it die, or recompense.
Did you think you would end up in me?
Think you’d like what you would get?
Your heart had no vacancy.
But our distance was not the same as regret.
spicket, spout, jubilee.
Running toward a willow tree.
The summer came and I got sauced.
Woke up to find my pants were lost.