A transvestite hooker walked her poodle down the street.
A wig on her head and high heels on her feet.
They caught her selling blow jobs and she ended up in jail,
then she gave the guard a handy in order to make bail.
Sea anemones, scorpion shit, and well made cardboard signs.
My one call from prison went to little Amanda Bynes.
I eat my hair when I’m really bored.
Life aint no friend of mine.
I want to go on a murder spree, but I just can’t find the time.
Washable markers, head on a stick,
I bare knuckle boxed with a short angry dick.
Kissing the babies and working the crowd.
I rode up to heaven on a little dark cloud.
Gazing at stars from the back of cars
he dreamed of a perfect place.
Where hookers and shims didn’t scare him
and he could murder them all with grace.
Tickle Me Elmo and Paul Revere
were sinking a boat while drinking a beer.
They put on their floaties,
said a quick prayer,
then tossed over the chick they had tied to a chair.
Cantaloupe and oxygen is plentiful and boring.
Stayed up all night.
I couldn’t sleep because that slob was snoring.
Keep me up again, I’ll remove your arm without a bit of warning.
You’ll be in shock and wont realize your limb is gone till morning.
slowly and horribly a homeless man dies.
He once killed a hooker while muffling her cries.
He started with heroin then tried PCP,
now he wears womens clothing and claims hes a she.
She said love
is like living someone else’s dream.
I didn’t ask for this
and you won’t be needing me.
I’m no good (I love the way you look at me)
and a hush falls flat.
This is all I need.
But I know better than that.
Still I spend forever waiting for you,
but I know your tenderness won’t last
and I don’t know [...]
spicket, spout, jubilee.
Running toward a willow tree.
The summer came and I got sauced.
Woke up to find my pants were lost.
It smells like an angry leprechaun ate too much love and shit
a peanut butter unicorn who was suckling on the tit
of an overweight rhinoceros who just got back from ‘nam.
It could also be that new perfume you just got from your mom.