Bullshit Fuckfest http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest When Tera's brain vomits, it leaves a stain here. Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:58:39 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Live, Love & Let Go When I was a young lass I had a crush on a boy in preschool who thought I was absolutely appalling and grotesque. Girls were still icky and he hadn't been to the doctor to get his cootie shot (he heard he'd have to turn his head and cough). The ... http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=88 Kiss Me, I’m Drunk Carefully separated her bones from the skin. Made beautiful lampshades and cozy moccasins. He ate the meat and cried for days then cleaned up with oxiclean he bought from Billy Mays. http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=86 If the only bone raft left was made out of that fat asshole we used to call “Shorts”… Monkey shit, popsicle stick I've got a broken heart. Chewing my nails while writing woeful tales. I'm just not sure where to start. Do I tell you how he kissed me or leave that boring shit out? Do I kill him now? And if so how? Or aint I got the clout? http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=84 Hooters’ Chicken Wings are NOT Good. Let’s Get Real People. He tried so hard to contain his laughs. He did his best when he learned that the window to her soul was not above her nose, but on her chest. http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=79 If I ever start telling you about the nachos I ate for dinner at TGIFridays in great detail for twenty minutes please just shoot me in the head because I have run out of interesting things to say. As a general rule I do not like having conversations about food. http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=78 And now a daily dose of things I hate… when people use more than one question mark in an email looking at mayonnaise grocery shopping other people's children mustaches with no beards the sound of shaking liquid Jay Leno people who think Brad Pitt is hot irritated taste buds Megan Fox's flap jack titties people while they are eating food (especially ice cream) people ... http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=66 A wise friend once told me, “A vagina is really just a penis ornament.” skipping, skipping down the hall. Play hopscotch or tether ball. Twirl your hair and lift your skirt. Eat a pie made out of dirt. http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=62 When other kids dreamt of becoming astronauts and firemen I was dreaming of becoming a lounge singer. Now look at me. Where did I go wrong?! Wizards, and swords, and fucking star trek. I’ve got pearls hanging from my neck. Swing and sway and swish and swirl. You just made out with a Catholic girl. She tastes like shit and she reeks like trash. Snuck out in the morning and left her some cash. http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=60 If I would have just listened to the doctors my twin’s ghost wouldn’t be trying to take my soul so that he could live on earth instead of me. He whispered to his friends thinking that she wouldn’t hear. She slit his throat and left a note and all the women cheered. http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=59 Tobio has a penis! I totally forgot! Walking through a garden he was screaming like a girl. Pickles, tomatoes, onion rings. Mayo makes me hurl. He isn’t perfect but for now he'll do. Planted snails and gingerail, but nothing ever grew. http://teraheater.com/bullshitfuckfest/?p=57